It's getting to that time of year when the chill is starting to set in and it's time to shop for your new winter coat.  Fashionmia is an online store that sells a wide range of fashion clothes including dresses, tops, skirts, jumpsuits and outerwear at affordable prices.  I for one love to shop for coats once the winter rolls around, so I thought I'd share a few of my favourite coat trends that I'm loving this winter.

Shearling

If there's one thing that automatically makes me think of Autumn it's pumpkins.  As soon as you see all the pumpkin spiced goodies hitting stores and seeing the well known large orange winter squashes everywhere you know it's Autumn.  I've always seen pictures of pumpkin patches and heard about them but never actually been to one myself.  Pumpkin picking isn't quite that common here in England, but when my sister mentioned there was a farm a 15 min drive away and asked if I would like to go with her and my nephew I decided to put my brave head on and fight my anxiety to go and try something new.

 From the moment I agreed to going I felt super anxious... I got the hot flushes, racing heart, feeling sick, breathlessness, stomach flips... but I was determined to push through.  Fighting my anxiety is so hard but it's the only way to get my life back.  I tried to control my breathing and not let it get the better of me, using positive affirmations such as "I can do this" "It's only anxiety" "I am stronger than my anxiety" "This too shall pass" "These are only feelings, they can do no harm", focusing on the task and my nephew rather than my feelings and what was going on around me.  I really struggle with my anxiety when there are strangers around, I always worry that I will be judged if I have a panic attack or that people will stare.  Luckily we picked a fairly quiet day to go, so I felt like I could cope with the feelings.  They never fully left me but they did gradually weaken the longer I was there and I was able to run around with my nephew rather than breaking down in tears and leaving after five minutes.  Dealing with all these symptoms and using every ounce of energy to overcome them is exhausting, so after an hour and a half I was more than ready to leave with my souvenir pumpkin.

I promise my next post will be less focused on my anxiety, but the whole reason I decided to open up about my anxiety on here is so I could be more honest and help others.  I also wanted to be able to do posts on what I'm doing to aid my recovery so that when I look back I can see how far I have come, because if you'd told me a few months ago I'd be somewhere unfamiliar running around a pumpkin patch I would not have believed you!  There is finally a speck of light at the end of the tunnel.

Jumpsuit - Cameo Rose at New Look

Shoes - New Look

After loving the look of culottes for a while now but thinking they would never suit me, I finally took the plunge and bought a pair towards the beginning of summer.  They ended up suiting me better than I thought and have become my new obsession.  They are just so comfy and easy to wear, and there's just something about them that make me feel a little bit more trendy.  I don't know what it is, because they're nothing overly special, but I feel like they just have this look about them that when I spot someone wearing them I'm like "oh she looks trendy".  When I spotted this culotte jumpsuit in New Look I picked it up straight away and, even though it was coming towards the end of summer, I knew with it's khaki colour it would make a great transitional piece for winter.  I plan on wearing a roll neck jumper underneath it now the colder days are here.

I was hoping to be more present on here lately but as I explained in my little comeback post I'm trying to put less pressure on myself and just blog when I'm feeling up to it.  After writing that post it's so refreshing to be able to admit that the last couple of weeks I have been working really hard on my recovery and all the anxiety kind of took it out of me a bit.  It's also really great to feel like I can finally talk about it on here.  It was both my boyfriend's and my mum's birthdays, so I'm glad I'm finally at a place where I am coping with my anxiety a bit better and was able to go for a meal with my boyfriend and on a little trip out for the afternoon.  We just went to a big country park to walk the dogs, and even though this would be nothing to most people it was a huge step for me.  I even got a little emotional, as a few months ago when I was in a really bad place something this simple didn't even seem like a possibility!  I also went for a meal with my family for my mum's birthday, which don't get me wrong I still find a huge struggle to sit in a restaurant and attempt to eat whilst my stomach feels like it's doing flips like I'm on a rollercoaster, but it's so nice to not have to say no to absolutely everything I'm invited to anymore.  Lucky for me I find baking therapeutic and what is a birthday without cake?!  So I'll leave you drooling over the cakes I made them for their birthdays.  

My boyfriends chocolate and peanut butter layer cake.  I will definitely be making this one again, it's one of those cakes that you should only really have a small slice of but you can't help eating until you feel sick, it tasted amazing!

My mum's lime, pistachio and white chocolate layer cake.  The original recipe for this cake has a cream cheese frosting but as my mum is not a fan of cream cheese frosting I swapped it for my favourite white chocolate buttercream recipe.  I'm so glad I did because it tasted incredible along with the lime.