Jumper - H&M
Jeans - New Look
Boots - Primark
Wow, I can't believe I didn't post at all last month! I feel like such a rubbish blogger, every week I drafted posts and the found myself deleting them all. I have touched on my anxiety in posts before but I don't think I've really gone into too much detail on the impact it has had on me. Over the past year, as it has worsened, it has picked away at my confidence and identity. The two things that I believe are the key elements to my blog. How can I do outfit posts and recommend things to others when I feel like I have no idea who I am anymore? I feel like I've always been happy with my sense of style, dare I say proud of it, never being ashamed of how I look, who stares at what I'm wearing or dying my hair whatever colour I feel like. I feel like my anxiety has taken this confidence away from me and with it I have lost my sense of self. When my anxiety allows me to venture out of the house, I do so in outfits like this one so I don't stand out from the crowd and I can feel invisible. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a good jumper and jeans combo but this has gone from my comfy day outfit to my everyday outfit and it's just not who I am or was should I say. I used to loving mixing and matching items to create the best outfit I could come up with and use them to create different looks and walking down the street with my head held high, confident in my style.
After taking a little time out and doing some soul searching I have decided to rediscover myself and find that confidence I so deeply miss. Last weekend it was my Birthday and it really saddened me that I felt no excitement leading up to it. The fact that I had blood tests booked for the day before didn't help (FYI I had a major panic attack and nearly fainted, me and needles do not mix well ha ha) but there was no Birthday wish list or anything. After thinking it over I realised that it was this loss of identity that had left me feeling like this, normally I'd have a list longer than my arm of clothes or makeup that I want but I just wasn't bothered at all this year. Me not wanting makeup or clothes or bags or shoes... absolute blasphemy! Don't worry I still had a lovely day with my boyfriend and family (which I might share with you in my next post) but I am now even more determined to kick my anxiety in the butt and rediscover my identity.
If you have any tips on blogging through a confidence crisis, I'd love to hear them or any other things you'd like to see me blog about more regularly please do let me know.