This is slightly different to my usual type of post, but a while ago I decided that I was going to be a lot more open with my experiences with anxiety on my road to recovery on the blog, so wanted to share my experience with anxiety when I got my nose pierced a week ago.  I'd been wanting to get my nose pierced for a while and if you follow me on Instagram you will have seen that I actually ended up getting it pierced along with my mum.  Yes, you read that right, my mum!  I was in utter shock when she mentioned that she'd like to come with me and get it done too.  My mum has always been very supportive of my piercings and tattoos but isn't really one for them herself, or so I thought, until now!  I was thrilled that she wanted to share this experience with me though, and is what has actually lead me to writing this post as I found it really interesting how different our thought processes were before and during the experience.

When I'm about to do something that causes me anxiety I like to prepare myself as much as possible for whatever situation I'm about to put myself in.  For me this meant watching as many nose piercing videos on Instagram and Youtube as I could, seeing every way possible that my nose could be pierced and peoples' reaction to it.  For my mum, who doesn't have anxiety, doing something like this she said would make her more nervous to go have it done but for me I find comfort in knowing exactly what to expect.

On the Saturday morning we went to get our nose piercings, I woke up feeling rather anxious, so did as much as I could to relax myself.  Which mainly involved having a bath, one of my favourite ways to relax, and practicing my breathing exercises (which I was hoping would come in handy during the piercing too).  I had a lot of anxious thoughts racing through my head but after speaking to my mum I realised how different our thoughts were in relation to the piercing.  My thoughts were all situational; What would the place be like?  Would the room be big or small?  Would it be busy?  Would it be hot?  What would the lady who was doing the piercing be like?  What if I had a panic attack?  Whereas my mum's only thoughts were how long will it take?  Could she freeze it before doing it?  How much would it hurt?  

I just found it quite fascinating that throughout this whole process not once had the thought of how much it would hurt entered my mind, yet it was my mum's primary concern.  I was so focused on my anxiety that the thought of the pain of the piercing hadn't even crossed my mind.  This has led me to wonder how different my experience may have been if I wasn't an anxiety sufferer, would I have been worried about the pain involved?  Even during the piercing, and watching my mum getting her nose pierced first (she only agreed to go through with it if she got to go first, ha ha!), the thought of the pain still didn't cross my mind.  I remember feeling really hot and anxious when we got there, so having my mum go first actually worked in my favour by enabling me to adjust to my new surroundings (as silly as it sounds new environments that I have never been in before give me major anxiety), do a few breathing exercises to calm myself and speak with the piercer to get more comfortable with her.  I also mentioned to her that I had anxiety, as I've found this is one of the most helpful tools in managing my anxiety recently, the less I feel I have to hide it the more I am able to relax.  

When it was my turn I jumped up on the bed and before I knew it my nose was pierced!  It was honestly that quick and I just remember feeling a slight pinch when the needle went through.  When I think back on it now, I realise that I was so wrapped up in my anxiety and focused on trying to keep myself relaxed and not have a panic attack that it kind of removed my head from the situation and I barely noticed the piercing as I was so removed from it.  My mum said the worst part for her was when the tiny tube was left in her nose that was used to pull the nose ring through, whereas I didn't feel it at all.  This also makes me wonder if I wasn't suffering from anxiety and had been more focused on the piercing itself, would I have felt that too?  In the end though I am just happy that I was able to manage my anxiety well enough to go through with my nose piercing.  I love it and now can't wait for it heal so I can change it for a dainty hoop.

What is your experience with piercings? Do your nerves ever stop you from going through with something like this?

Follow me on Bloglovin

Follow me on Instagram

Yesterday was my Birthday and as much as I hate surprises, mainly due to my anxiety, my boyfriend was determined to surprise me.  He proved yet again just how well he knows me by surprising me with the cutest little Peter Rabbit themed afternoon tea at Colwick Hall.  If there's one thing I love it's a good afternoon tea!

The one thing I really loved about this afternoon tea is the theming, you could tell that they had really put some thought into it down to each last little detail.  At the entrance there was a giant scarecrow and Peter Rabbit themed signs, including cute little allotment wheelbarrows.  The decor inside was just beautiful too.  The room was filled with beautiful climbing roses, not only were they aesthetically pleasing but they really gave the feeling that you were sitting in a quaint little rose garden.  I have also now decided I want to fill my dining room with them too, ha ha.

Then when the afternoon tea was bought to our table I couldn't contain my delight.  It was the cutest, especially the crate of little garden themed cakes.  The stand was filled with a variety of sandwiches, super yummy mini cheese and leek pies, the cutest little cup of carrot and coriander soup and finally scones with clotted cream and jam.  It was all very delicious, especially the homemade soup and mini pies.  This is the first time I've had afternoon tea with anything hot on it, it made a nice change and added to the variety of the afternoon tea.  There was also a wide selection of teas available but seeing as it was my birthday I just had to treat myself to one of their speciality themed cocktails to go alongside the Peter Rabbit afternoon tea.  I opted for the raspberry mojito one and it was delicious!

Finally onto my favourite part of the afternoon tea... the cakes!!  Just look how incredibly cute they are!  There was a really great selection including bunny tail meringues, carrot and ginger cookies and lemon cake.  My absolute favourites though had to be the miniature plant pot chocolate muffins and have you seen those little acorn doughnuts?!  So god damn cute, especially for a a doughnut lover like myself.

This was an absolutely fantastic afternoon tea, the only thing missing was Peter Rabbit himself.  If you're looking for a delicious afternoon tea, I would definitely recommend Cowlick Hall.  Their next themed afternoon tea which launches on the 4th May is a Star Wars themed one, and seeing as my boyfriend is a huge Star Wars fan we're hoping to go back to sample that one too.

Follow me on Bloglovin

Follow me on Instagram

Whilst I was looking through my photos for pictures of my mum for Mother's Day I came across the photos of this afternoon tea I took her for as a treat for her birthday.  I can't believe I didn't share them before now, as it was absolutely amazing!

Afternoon tea is one of my favourite treats, what could be more perfect than mini sandwiches and cake... lots of cake!  We went to Teapots and Teacups Tearoom, a cute little tearoom in town with lots of shabby chic furniture and a variety of afternoon teas on offer.  Although I knew we were going to have afternoon tea I made the huge mistake of opting for a Banoffee milkshake, as I just couldn't resist.  I have the biggest sweet tooth ever and if there is a special milkshake on offer I just have to try it.  Once I was getting towards the end though I did start to feel slightly sick from drinking it alongside all those sweet treats and then the sugar rush certainly started to kick in.  The afternoon tea we opted for was the Mad Hatter's Afternoon tea which also comes with a hat for you to wear whilst having your afternoon tea.  A little bit of a fun addition, especially if you're visiting for a special occasion.  Onto the afternoon tea itself, the first tier was made up of oddly shaped and sized sandwiches (which added to the mad theme), a side salad, crisps and coleslaw.  The second tier had a little mini milkshake each and a slice of angel cake each, which was absolutely delicious!  The top tier then had scones, a little plant pot filled with chocolate brownie, macarons and some small flavoured choux buns.  As if that wasn't already enough, atop of all of this was a bowl filled with strawberries, marshmallows and sweets.  It was a match made in heaven for a sweet lover like me.  I have had a few afternoon teas in my time and so far this one is top of the list, it's going to take some beating!

Where was the best afternoon tea you've ever had?

Follow me on Bloglovin

Follow me on Instagram

Last year I decided I was going to develop healthier eating habits and I was doing pretty well until going away, then Christmas and then moving... well, then it kind of just went out of the window a bit.  I'm now determined to get back on track after putting on a few Christmas pounds.  When reading about any healthy eating plan they always say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, it's what kickstarts your metabolism.  The problem here is that I've never been a big lover of breakfast and I never have much of an appetite in the morning.  I'm especially not fond of savoury breakfasts, I have such a sweet tooth.  My breakfast most days is a banana or a homemade smoothie.  However when I saw these breakfast muffins on The Body Coach's Instagram I thought I'd give them a go.  They looked nice, and perfect for a small and quick breakfast in the morning.

Ingredients:

(makes 6)

2 bananas

2 eggs

5 large strawberries

1tsp baking powder

1tsp cacao powder

oats

Method:

1. Pre-heat oven to 200°C and grease 6 cups of a muffin tray.

2. Put the bananas, eggs and 3 of the strawberries (chopped) into a bowl and mash together into a runny consistency.

3. Stir in the baking powder and cacao powder.

4. Add the oats.  I never measure the oats I just pour some in and then keep adding them to get the desired consistency.  I like to put enough in that they just start to stick together.

5. Spoon the mixture into the greased muffin tray, chop the remaining 2 strawberries and sprinkle them on top.

6. Bake in the oven for 15 minutes.  Be sure to keep an eye on them though after 10 mins so they don't burn on the top.

These muffins have become my new favourite breakfast.  They're super quick and easy to whip up and are just enough for me in the mornings.  The sweetness of the strawberries really do satisfy my sweet tooth too.  I was worried that I wasn't going to be too keen on the texture as I don't like porridge but they don't really have that porridge taste, especially once they've cooled down.  I did try one warm but I do prefer them cold after they've sat a while.

What's your favourite healthy breakfast?  I'm always on the lookout for new great healthy recipes.

Follow me on Bloglovin

Follow me on Instagram

I am firstly going to apologise that this may be a pretty lengthy post and probably pretty photo heavy. If you follow my blog, you'll know that my boyfriend bought me a trip to Disneyland last year for my Birthday in April and I'd always wanted to go when it was all decorated for Christmas.  So we booked it for December and most of last year was spent working really hard on my anxiety so that I could go.  There were little hiccups along the way and things that caused me anxiety whilst there, but it went better than I ever could have imagined and gave me a huge amount of confidence in my battle against the demon that is anxiety.

We stayed in the Newport Bay Hotel as it looked lovely and was only a short walk to the park.  I wanted to stay in one of the park hotels, as one of my biggest struggles with anxiety is public transport and I didn't want to have to be getting shuttle buses to and from the park each day.  I'm sure everyone that goes to Disneyland dreams of staying at the Disneyland Hotel, but we just couldn't justify the price.  Newport Bay was really nice though and I remember just thinking "wow" when we drove up to it when we arrived.  It is all nautical themed and just looked stunning all decked out for Christmas.  We paid a little extra for a Christmas themed room, which was a lovely touch and we even got a couple of presents left in the room too.

When it comes to the parks I have to admit that the Disneyland Park was my favourite and I absolutely loved the Fantasyland area.  I am a Disney Princess at heart and walking around Fantasyland was just like stepping into a Disney movie, it was so pretty.  I even got to meet Snow White, my all time favourite Disney Princess!  Before we went I have to admit that I wasn't so sure about the meet and greets with the characters, I thought they were more for children, and to be honest the thought of it before we went gave me crippling anxiety.  Would it be awkward?  What would I say?  How would I act?  My mind raced with different scenarios.  But once we were there and I had started to settle in slightly and see more and more characters around the park, I really wanted to meet them.  I still found it slightly awkward and didn't really say much, just a quick hello, hug and a picture and that was it.  I am really glad I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to do this though because one of my happiest memories from the whole trip was meeting Snow White.  I remember just standing there thinking how beautiful she looked and my inner child came out.  I was so excited to be standing in front of her, and if you suffer from anxiety you'll know that excitement is a foreign emotion when all situations fill you with dread and fear.  To actually be feeling excited about something, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I had to hold back the tears.  It was there and then in that moment that I actually realised how far I'd come with my anxiety and actually felt proud of myself for battling every step along the way to actually get to experience that moment.  It is a moment that I will never forget!

Now don't get me wrong, even though the Disneyland Park was my favourite, the Walt Disney Studios are still well worth a visit.  When it came to going to Disneyland one of my biggest fears was the rides.  I had no idea how I was going to get through them with my anxiety... standing in queues, feeling trapped on rides, being surrounded by strangers, not knowing what to expect, being unable to escape... all things that trigger my panic attacks.  Thankfully with a letter from my doctor, I was able to get an orange pass which meant I was able to get a time to return to the ride and we would be allowed straight on so I didn't have to stand in the queues, as the longer I would stand there waiting the longer I would have for my anxiety to build and to change my mind about going on the ride.  As I wanted to use this trip to battle my anxiety and push my boundaries though I only used this pass for the longer queues.  I'm glad I found the courage to go on some of the rides because they were really good, Ratatouille being my favourite, but if I was only able to watch the parades and shows I wouldn't have felt like I missed out.  The parades and shows were hands down my favourite, they were just incredible.  They also gave me something to focus on when it came to my anxiety, whether it be a particular song, character or just focusing on the lights rather than what was going on around me and not having to focus on all the people.  This was one of the main ways I managed my anxiety and stopped it from turning into full blown panic attacks and being able to find a quieter spot when things got a bit too much made the trip a lot more manageable.  It's amazing what putting all your focus into one thing, such as memorising the words to a song or picking out particular colours in the lights, can do to ease your anxiety.

As much as I wish I could sit here and say that the entire trip was perfect, I just can't.  That however is something I have come to accept living with anxiety, nothing is ever going to be perfect, but it can still be a victory in my battle.  One part of the trip that I didn't see as a complete victory but I thought was worth a mention was Buffalo Bill's Wild West show.  For a bit of background, that morning I had tried to be a little too brave (as the trip so far was going so well) and agreed to go on the Rock 'n' Roller coaster with my boyfriend.  Well let's just say it was my worst nightmare, it was fast, it was dark and I couldn't wait for it to be over.  I spent the entire ride with my eyes squeezed shut, tears streaming down my face, holding on as tight as I could and my heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest.  I just remember praying for it to be over and stepping off with every inch of my body shaking.  I think it was just a step too far for my anxiety and it really knocked me up for the rest of the day.  We had Buffalo Bill's booked for that night though and I was determined not to miss it.  The problem is when my anxiety is bad it just consumes me and no matter how hard I try I just can't shake it.  As hard as I tried I just couldn't focus on the show as much as I would've liked and really struggled to eat the incredible meal we were given during the show.  I mean just look at that dessert!  I only managed a couple of bites but it tasted amazing and I wish I could've eaten more.  If you get the opportunity to go it is definitely worth the money, I just wish I could've enjoyed it a little more.

I don't want to end this post on a downer, so even though I did struggle with my anxiety it was the trip of a lifetime and I'm glad I was finally able to say yes to it.  If you suffer from anxiety I know how hard it is to say yes to things like this, but trust me you won't regret it!  There are ways to mange you're anxiety there and the staff in City Hall were really good at telling us where the less crowded places would be for the illuminations and parades.  It was very cold standing and waiting for them at this time of year but was worth it for how magical Disneyland looks at Christmas, especially when it's all lit up at night.

Follow me on Bloglovin

Follow me on Instagram