Mermaid Brushes, £8.25 - Rosegal*

Can we first just take a minute to appreciate how beautiful these Rosegal rose gold mermaid brushes are!  My pictures do not even do them justice!  I have not wanted to use them as they are just so beautiful and I didn't want to get them dirty, but I can't just have them sitting there looking pretty and let them go to waste now can I?!

This beautiful set comes in a set of 6 with 4 face brushes and 2 eye brushes, which for £8.25 is an absolute bargain!  I have to admit that due to the stupidly affordable price I was a little dubious about the quality of the brushes but I had nothing to worry about.  These brushes look and feel so luxurious.  The heads are so ridiculously soft that they are so gentle on your skin and blend products beautifully. The last foundation brush I used was the Real Techniques Total Face Brush (which cost more than this whole set for just the one brush) and as good as it is, it is no way near as soft as these brushes and used to leave my foundation looking slightly streaky.  So I decided to give a Beauty Blender a try and have been using that ever since after deciding I would never use a brush for my foundation again.  When I recieved these brushes though I decided to give the flat top brush a go at applying my foundation and I was wonderfully surprised.  It applied my foundation beautifully and blended it in perfectly with not a streak in sight.  Another of my favourite brushes from this set is the smaller tapered brush.  I have been using this brush to apply highlighter and again it has worked just perfectly, it has such a light touch that it is just perfect for applying a subtle everyday highlight.

I really cannot rave about these brushes enough!  I could go on all day about how beautiful and soft they are.  For the price you really can't go wrong.  They would make a perfect and affordable Christmas present for any beauty lover and look like they cost way more than their £8.25 price tag.  You can get them for even less than this if you use the code RGEN for an extra 10% off.

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 Lace Up Kimono - New Look

Vest - Primark

Jeans - New Look

Shoes - New Look

I can't believe it's November already, so much has happened in the last month that the blog has had to take a backseat but I'm hoping to be back regularly blogging very soon and I can't wait to share with you all what's been happening.  It'll be Christmas before we know it and I can't wait, but I have lots of exciting things coming up before then, *cough cough* Disneyland!!!  It is only 18 days away now and I am getting more excited and anxious by the day.  It's going to be a huge test for my anxiety but one I can't wait to take and, that I hope more than anything, will be successful.  As excited as I am for it to be winter and Christmas I am not enjoying the freezing cold weather, especially as I am on a spending ban and can't go out to fill my wardrobe with chunky knits and winter coats.  This makes me a little sad as they are one of my favourite things to shop for but it'll all be worth it, you'll see.  I am going to be spending the rest of the winter trying to find ways to rework the wardrobe I already have, so if you have any tips please do share.

I took these pictures a couple of weeks ago before the temperatures dropped too much and I could bare to still go outside without a coat on.  I can't see that happening anymore, it's getting way too cold.  I didn't realise until I started listing my outfit that pretty much the whole outfit is from New Look.  The lace up kimono I bought at the end of summer in the sale for a bargain of £12 to add a bit of colour to my wardrobe and I thought it'd make a great transitional piece for the winter too.  As it gets colder I will be swapping the vest for a roll neck I think.  I just love kimonos, they are great for adding a bit more interest to a simple outfit and the fact that this one ties at the waist makes it so flattering too.  I could only find it on the website in tall but if you're short like me but love the style and print they have a cute little dress version too.  The jeans are one of my favourites too, they are the India jeans and they are so comfortable and one of the few pairs that I don't have to roll up for my stubby little legs, they are the perfect length!  

I'm going to try my hardest to blog more regularly but these dark days are killing me.  It's so hard to find good lighting to take pictures, especially now I can't take them outside as much, and as soon as it hits 4.30pm and starts getting dark all I want to do is put my pyjamas on and climb under a blanket.  I'm trying to keep myself motivated with exercise and yoga though, which is sometimes hard to get up and do but once I do I feel much better and it warms me right up too which is an added bonus because boy do I feel the cold!  It's much more tempting to curl up with a hot chocolate and watch Stranger Things, or at the moment I'm trying to catch up on American Horror Story.  I've just started Freak Show... how scary is Twisty?!!  Definitely not a fan of clowns!

How do you keep yourself motivated and not wanting to hibernate all winter?

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Happy Halloween!! As I'm not big on Halloween, it does not mix well with my anxiety, I hate fancy dress (especially scary fancy dress) and I spend the majority of it tucked up in my bedroom, pretending to the trick or treaters that there is nobody home as I am too afraid to answer the door, watching something more anxiety friendly such as Harry Potter or Hocus Pocus.  I am currently watching The Nightmare Before Christmas as I write this.  I thought it would be the perfect time though to share with you my visit to the Warner Bros Studio Tour.

Things like this are a massive step for me and I had a huge mix of anxiety and excitement and as I am doing as much as I can this year to battle my anxiety and try to find a bit of enjoyment in life again, I was determined to go.  I also thought it'd be a nice little stepping stone towards seeing how I will cope when I go to Disneyland in December.

I have to admit I don't remember much about the first part of the tour besides trying to focus on not having a panic attack.  All I remember is being led into a dark room where a member of staff was explaining what was going to happen to us and then into a small cinema room.  I honestly could not tell you a single thing that happened in that screening, that is how much my anxiety takes over and this time last year I would've ran as fast as I can to get out of there but I am learning to find coping mechanisms so that I don't have to run away from every situation and miss out on all the good things that follow.  I was so pleased I didn't as when the screen lifted to reveal the door to the Great Hall it was the first distraction from my anxiety that pushed me to fight through and not give up.  I did not want to miss out on this like I had so many things before.

The Great Hall was all decorated for Halloween and looked amazing.  This had to be one of my favourite parts of the tour, it really felt as if you were on the set of the movie.  My only qualm with this is that it didn't feel like we got very long to spend looking around in here before we were being ushered out ready for the next group to come in.  This may have just been me, as I do like to hang back where I feel more comfortable than in the midst of a crowd of people, but I do feel like they could've left a little longer between tours as this part of the tour did feel a bit rushed to me.  After this we were left to wander around the rest of the studio tour at our own pace.

I took so many pictures, another technique I used to manage my anxiety as it gives me something else to focus on rather than the amount of people around me, as it was pretty busy.  I wouldn't want to bore you with them all though so I'll just share a few of my favourites.

It was very interesting to see how the films were made and I was quite surprised that the majority of the films were filmed on set here in the studios and not on location.  It's amazing what they can do with a green screen!  Just to see some of the time and effort that went into the making of these films was incredible, especially some of the artwork.  I also got to try my first Butterbeer and it tasted amazing!  I need the recipe!  We also paid for an audio guide which I have to say was a bit of a god send when it came to my anxiety.  To be able to put on those headphones and watch the videos on the screen were a great way to shut out what was going on around me when it all got a bit too much.

The tour ended with this incredible model of Hogwarts, which switched between day and night to show it all lit up.  This was one of my favourite parts of the tour as there was just something about this room that was a lot more relaxing than the rest of the tour, I don't know it it was the dim lights or the music or just the fact that it was over, ha ha!  No, in all seriousness I am glad I have got to a point where I am able to even attempt to do things like this and not let my anxiety rule my life as much and miss out on all the fun things in life.  Although it's still not as plain sailing as I'd like, each time I do something like this it gives me hope that one day I will be able to do things like this filled with nothing but excitement like everyone else.

Have you been to the Warner Bros Studios?  How did you find it?  Also if you are a fellow anxiety sufferer I would love to hear how you manage it in situations like this?

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Dress and Necklace* - Rosegal

Shoes - New Look

Wow it's been a while since my last post!  So much has happened over the past few weeks that I just haven't been able to find time or concentrate on posting here on the blog.  There's so much going round and round in my head, both exciting and anxiety inducing.  I have just taken a massive step into making a big change in my life and I can't quite share what it is yet, but lets just say it has been quite stressful but I can't wait to share my news with you all!  Due to this most of my spare time has been spent on organising myself and trying to keep my anxiety at bay with relaxation exercises, baking and spending quality time with my dogs and friends.

I was recently sent this lovely dress from Rosegal and with the freakishly warm few days we had last week I was actually able to wear it.  I am really impressed with the quality of it and it is really comfy.  I also really like the fact that it is a slightly longer length, making it perfect now the days are getting colder.  I think it will be great for transitioning into winter with a pair of tights and chunky boots.

If you're after a bargain I definitely recommend taking a browse of their website, especially as they have a summer sale going on starting from 33% off.  You can also get an extra 10% off using the code RGE N

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Top - Damaged Society

Shorts - Asos

Belt - Asos

Shoes - George

Sunglasses - Amazon

I can't believe it's September already and judging by the weather over the last week this'll probably be the last time I wear these shorts until next year.  As much as I'm looking forward to wearing boots and snuggly coats and jumpers, I am a little sad that it's time to put away my summer clothes when I feel like I've barely gotten to wear them.  The joys of the English summer!! However it does mean that I am another month closer to Disneyland (86 days!! Not that I'm counting or anything!).

When I was shopping in Nottingham a couple of months ago, wandering around the Victoria Centre, I stumbled upon a store called Damaged Society.  It is what I suppose you would call a "streetwear" store which is not necessarily my style but I do like to have a browse of something a little different and I did stumble across a few hidden gems.  One of them being this vest.  As soon as I saw it I knew I had to have it.  I feel like this thought enters my head at least once a day, ha ha!  I feel like there are just too many small minded people in the world and I've noticed as I've got older I have less time and tolerance for them and this is exactly what I'd like to say to them.  As I am too anxious and too polite to say this to the majority of them I decided that I would buy this and let my clothes do the talking for me!

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I was recently introduced to the website Rosegal and after the being pleasantly surprised with my last online experience I thought I'd have a browse of their sundresses for women.  I'm sure I've mentioned this before on my blog but I really begrudge spending much on my summer wardrobe as we get so little sun here in rainy England, but whenever we do get the odd sunny day I find myself wishing I had more sundresses.  This is where online stores like Rosegal come in handy as they have some lovely dresses and they're all super affordable.  Every single one of the dresses above are around £20 or under!!  I absolutely love that last little blue off the shoulder number with the embroidered flowers and it is only £16.11!!  Bargain!!!  Another one of my favourites is the pretty red floral dress, I love the back detail, and it comes in even cheaper at £13.36!  I'm very tempted to make a cheeky little order for those days when the sun actually decides to show it's face and I find myself with nothing to wear.


If you're looking to add something to your summer wardrobe and don't want to spend a fortune I'd definitely recommend checking them out.  You can also use the code RGEN for an extra 10% off and grab yourself even more of a bargain.


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I have a few posts planned but I thought after it being so long since I last posted I would do a little update.  If I'm being completely honest I have been struggling the last few weeks with my self confidence and anxiety and just haven't had the confidence to post.  So I've taken a bit of time out to spend with family and friends and just work on rebuilding my confidence.  I feel like since my nan died I have kind of let myself slip slightly, no longer exercising or eating well which unsurprisingly has lead to me putting on a little bit of weight and also worsened my anxiety, both knocking my confidence.  It is not until now that I have realised how much of an impact my diet and exercise has had on my anxiety, it had really helped and I think feeling more in shape gave me a boost of confidence which also helped my anxiety.  I've never really been one of those "your body is a temple" types but it really does amaze me the effects the food you eat can have not only on your body but your moods and emotions too.  As today is Bank Holiday Monday I am having one last day of lazing around with my dogs and from tomorrow I'm going to get back into my routine of exercise and write up a meal plan for the rest of the week.

If you follow me on instagram you will have probably already seen, but a few weeks ago I got a little forget me not tattoo in memory of my nan.  The picture above was when it was fresh but it is all healed now and I absolutely love it.  Every time I look at it I think of my nan and it makes me smile.  I've never been a fan of colour tattoos but when I decided I wanted to get some forget me nots I knew I wanted them to be in colour so they would look bright, as my nan could light up any room.  I have to admit I am now a convert and have a newfound love for colour tattoos.  It's weird to think that I now have three tattoos when this time last year I could barely step into a shop let alone step into a tattoo shop and let someone poke a needle into my arm for an hour.  I think that's why I kind of like writing these types of posts as it allows me to reflect on how far I've come, and realise even when I'm having a little dip in the rollercoaster of life I can cope with it much better than I think I am able to and looking back I am dealing with recent events much better than I used to.  Take for example, to cut a long story short, my mum and dad went away on holiday and I went with my sister to check on my grandad to find his flat empty.  We spent at least two hours ringing round hospitals before we managed to locate him, before I would've been no use whatsoever and would've probably just stood in the corner having a panic attack feeling useless.  I'm not saying it wasn't hard and I didn't have a huge rush of anxiety but I was actually able to make phone calls and help, and this may sound silly to some people but if you've ever had severe social anxiety you will understand how hard it is to make phone calls.  The fact that I actually managed to do it despite my anxiety was a huge step for me.  I just want anyone with anxiety to know that even though you may not feel like you can do it now or even in years time, the strength is inside you to come out the other side and you'll one day be able to do things you never imagined possible.  Everybody has their own mountains and you can't get to the top without climbing them and sometimes you may have to climb back down and find another route to the the top, but one day you'll get there.  This analogy is something I've learnt through therapy and has helped me to understand that we all have our own mountains to climb, and mine just may have a little more obstacles in the way than others, but it doesn't mean I can't get there and sometimes taking a step back and re-evaluating doesn't mean I've failed but is giving my body and mind a break so I am better able to deal with a situation rather than just giving up and going into hibernation.  Mental health is just as important as physical health and it's important that we take just as good care of it.

Hope you are all enjoying this sunny bank holiday weekend :)

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I recently posted a wishlist of some very pretty and affordable items from Zaful and they were kind enough to send me a couple of items to try.  The parcel arrived pretty quickly and came nicely packaged in these Zaful ziplock bags.  I was really pleasantly surprised when I received these items because my previous experiences with these online stores has not been so great; poor quality, long delivery wait, badly made, sizing errors etc.  These items however, both costing under $15 were great quality for the price, not at all the cheap flimsy material I was expecting.  They also have a pretty good sizing chart to help you decide on the size you need.  I am a size 8/10 and got the playsuit in an L and the co-ord in an M and they both fit fine, but just shows that there's a variation in sizing so be sure to check the chart before you order.

Unfortunately it has rained nearly every single day since I received this parcel and so haven't been able to get much wear out of them yet or any decent outfit shots.  But I just wanted to share a couple with you so you can see how they fit and how good the quality is.  The first item I was sent was a lovely navy floral playsuit, it fits lovely and has a nice criss cross detailing on the back.  The only criticism I have for this item is that I'd like it to be slightly longer.  I'm only 5'3" and it is very short on me, this may be fine for others but I'm not a big fan of my short stumpy legs so prefer things to be slightly longer.  It is still very wearable though and due to the colours I think this will make a great transitional piece for autumn with a roll neck underneath and a pair of tights.  The second item I was sent was a pretty little co-ord that I actually featured in my wishlist.  It is made up of a little white crop top and shorts in a floral print with frill detailing.  I love this little co-ord, it just screams summer to me, now I just wish we had the sunshine to go with it!

I am really impressed with my first shopping experience with Zaful and if you too would like to give them a try be sure to check out the rest of their pretty playsuits and use the code ZFEN01 for a surprise discount.

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Bikini, £92.95 - UK Swimwear*

To say that I have had a rough couple of weeks is an understatement!  As I mentioned in a previous post my Nan sadly passed away and last Friday was her funeral.  It was such a sad day but at the same time absolutely beautiful, it is exactly how she would have wanted it.  Having to say a final goodbye to her was the hardest thing ever but it was also nice to have all my family, including our relatives from Ireland, all together and the support and love I felt from them all was unbelievable.  I was even able to stand up in front of the whole church and read two prayers for my nan.  It made me so happy that I have come this far with my anxiety that I was able to do this for her, as she meant the world to me.  It has also made me realise how important family is and to cherish every moment I spend with them.  It was kind of bittersweet as it was deeply saddening, but I practically spent a whole 4 days with them and have made some beautiful memories that will stay with me forever.  Throughout all of this I have had chronic toothache and was waiting for a referral so I could have my tooth extracted under sedation, as I didn't think I would be able to cope with having it done with a local anaesthetic with my anxiety.  The dentist has always terrified me!  At the beginning of this week though the toothache became so unbearable that I decided that I was just going to have to bite the bullet and get it done with only a local anaesthetic.  I will not bore you with all the details but typically of me it wasn't smooth sailing, it hurt A LOT (as the root of the tooth was infected so the anaesthetic didn't work properly) and I was left feeling very ill.  Thankfully I am feeling a lot better today but have been left with a fair bit of anxiety!  

So, after a stressful few weeks I've decided that I need a holiday to get away from it all and destress and soak up some vitamin D.  Sadly it is unlikely that this will happen as with saving for a house deposit and Disneyland in December, I just can't afford it.  If I could though I would be jetting off to Mykonos with this lovely bikini from UK Swimwear.  It is a little on the pricey side but you can feel it in the quality.  It feels so thick and supportive, especially compared to some bikinis, which is exactly what you want, you do not want to be worrying about a little nip slip when you're swimming.   And for those of us with a... ahem... larger bust that can sometimes be pretty hard to find.  At UK Swimwear though there are a lot of swimsuits where you can select your body size along with your cup size, finally somebody realises that not all size 8-10's are an A/B cup.  It also has removable pads in the top for that little extra support and comfort if you feel you need it.  I really like the strap detailing this bikini has as it adds a little something extra and creates a lovely shape on your body, and the cobalt blue colour is gorgeous.  This bikini would look lovely and flattering on pretty much any size or shape.

  

I was feeling very self conscious about posting these last two images but wanted to show you how the bikini looks on, because that flat lay just does not do it justice.  Then I thought screw it, everybody is a different shape and size and nobody's perfect.  Everybody has their hang ups but we should all be proud of who we are and the way we look, I am working very hard on my body confidence and this is where I begin.  Hopefully I'll get to wear this wonderful bikini on a sunny beach soon.

Are you jetting off anywhere this summer?

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There are so many things on my summer wishlist right now and this velvet wrap dress and palm tree swimsuit are pretty high on that list.  Palm prints seem to be everywhere right now and I love the vivid green ones just like on this swimsuit.  As for the velvet dress, I just love the combination of the pink and navy.  I feel live velvet is a material we don't see enough of in the summer!  Both of these items are from the online store Zaful, which has lots of other gorgeous and affordable items.  As I've mentioned before I begrudge spending much on my summer wardrobe with the little amount of sun we get here in England over the summer, but all of their items are so reasonably priced I'm considering adding a few to my wardrobe.  These are just a few of my favourites.  Can we all just take a second to appreciate how pretty these little co-ord sets are?!  What's even better is that they both cost less than $15!!

Have you ever shopped at Zaful before?

Dress - Matalan

Shoes - George

I've sat down at my laptop several times this week to write a post but either ended up in tears or drawing a blank.  If you read my last post you will have seen that I've been having a tough time recently with family and it with the heaviest of hearts I sadly have to say that my Nan passed away after a long battle with dementia.  It is one of the hardest diseases to have to watch a loved one suffer from and affects people in ways I never knew, it is not just a case of simply losing your memory.  As I have watched her deteriorate since Christmas I thought it was something I had prepared myself for but it still hit me like a ton of bricks and I suddenly feel unable to function. The love I have for my Nan is in describable, we were a typical close knit Irish family and she was the matriarch, nicknamed "the Godmother" by the rest of the family.  We all loved to be in her company and she just radiated kindness, generosity and love.  Typically the Irish nan she was, the first thing she'd always do is feed you and my fondest memories are the endless mornings we'd sit in her kitchen eating toast and chatting away.  I'm not a big toast lover but my Nan used to make the most incredible toast and I have no idea what her secret was, but damn I am going to miss that toast! 

This is something I've been umm-ing and aah-ing about sharing on the blog but I know this will affect me greatly and for a while yet.  However I am trying to find the balance between allowing myself to grieve, continuing to battle my anxiety and trying to continue with everyday activities.  So when I put makeup on for the first time this week and made myself look semi presentable I decided to take some outfit photos.  I was a little reluctant to post them but I wanted to share the me when I am trying to put on a brave face.  My unwashed hair normally ends up in braids or space buns and I wear a bold lip for a little boost.  This is also the first time I think I have worn my glasses in a blog post too, when I first got them I was very self conscious of wearing them and just didn't feel right.  However over the last few weeks I have become more comfortable wearing them and they have even become a sort of shield for me on my anxious days.  I don't know how to explain it but when I'm having a tough day I put them on and although I can see clearer I feel like I have an extra barrier between me and the outside world.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, and be sure to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you and cherish every single moment you spend with them.

L-R: Boohoo £13, Asos £26.50, Lazy Oaf £39, Pull & Bear £20.50

L-R: River Island £36, New Look £17, Missguided £22.50, Pull & Bear £30

L-R: Wolf & Whistle Bikini Top £15, Vero Moda Swimsuit £20, Asos Bikini Top £14, Playful Promises Bikini Top £16

L-R: New Look £13.50, Asos £33, Asos £26, Head Over Heels by Dune £19.50

L-R: Parisian £18, Asos £26.50, Asos £16.50, Asos £22.50

I've been struggling to blog again lately due to my lack of self confidence and my anxiety creeping back up.  Then I remembered the whole point in opening up about my anxiety and self esteem issues on the blog is so that I could share my experiences and not let it stop me from blogging because I was trying to hide that part of my life.  So here I am sharing a little bit of what I love to do when I'm not feeling great.

Both my Nan and Grandad have not been well lately, as well as a cancer diagnosis within the family, things have just got on top of me.  Therefore my anxiety has increased and I've just been focused on trying to keep on top of that by exercising, yoga, meditation, baking and trying to take time out to relax.  When I'm not feeling the best one of my favourite things to do is a little online shopping, but as I have put myself on a spending ban to save for a house and my next tattoo all I can really do is browse.  This has left me with a ton of wishlists with lots of bargains that are too great to miss, as the summer sales have started.  If you're anything like me I prefer not to spend too much on my summer wardrobe for the little amount of sun we get here in England it's just not worth it, so I thought I'd do a little series of posts sharing my favourite sale finds from different online stores so that all this imaginary shopping that I'm doing doesn't seem like a complete waste of my time.

I decided to start with Asos as it is one of my favourite online stores and it's so nice to browse different brands all in one place as you can browse a more diverse range of styles.  It's a great place to shop for people like me who like to mix up their style from girly to grungy.  My absolute top picks here are the Boohoo dress, River Island jacket, Asos boots and the little gingham playsuit.

Have you found any great bargains in the summer sales?